As a godparent, what should you give at a christening?

In a back pew of the church, someone is holding a white candle and doesn't know where to put it. It isn't lit yet. By the end of the ceremony it is burning: it has been lit from the Easter candle. Many godparents understand at this moment what they have taken on – through an object that has suddenly gained weight.

We think the question of the godparent's gift is really about the role. Once we understand what a godparent takes on, the gift finds its place more easily.

What is a godparent's role in the Catholic Church?

Under canon 872 of the Code of Canon Law, the godparent, together with the parents, presents the child for baptism and helps them to lead a Christian life in keeping with baptism. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church (paragraph 1255), godparents must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptised on the road of Christian life.

It is not a role for a single day. In folk tradition the godparent was present for a whole lifetime: according to the Magyar Néprajzi Lexikon (Hungarian Ethnographic Lexicon), they remembered their godchild on name days and birthdays, and had a part to play at Confirmation and at the wedding too. Canon law still recommends today that, where possible, the Confirmation sponsor should be the same person who was godparent at the baptism (canon 893).

Who can be a godparent in the Catholic Church?

Canon 874 sets five conditions. The godparent is designated by the person to be baptised, by their parents or, failing them, by the parish priest, and must be suited to the role. They must have completed their sixteenth year – unless the diocesan bishop has set a different age, or the parish priest makes an exception for a just cause. They must be Catholic, confirmed, have already received the Most Holy Eucharist, and lead a life of faith in keeping with the role. They must not be bound by any canonical penalty. And they must not be the child's father or mother.

There may be one godfather, one godmother, or one of each (canon 873). A baptised person who belongs to another Christian community may take part only alongside a Catholic godparent, as a witness to the baptism. The parish in question will always give you accurate information on the details.

What does a godparent usually give at a christening?

According to Magyar Néprajz (Hungarian Ethnography), across most of the country the child's christening clothes and the festive items for swaddling were brought as a gift by the godmother. In more traditional regions a piece of linen or fine cotton cloth was given, known as korozsma. Among the Palóc people of the Mátraalja region, the godchild received linen for a shirt, a blessed candle and a ribbon for tying the swaddling bands; on the Great Hungarian Plain, money was given.

Today's gifts carry on the same pattern: a christening candle, a christening gown, a cross or medal, a children's Bible. What they have in common is that they are tied to the day, and they have a story. If several people in the family are giving gifts, it is worth coordinating – so that you don't end up with three silver spoons.

What do the christening candle and the white garment mean?

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church (paragraph 1243), the white garment signifies that the baptised person has ‘put on Christ’, and the candle lit from the Easter candle that Christ has enlightened them. That is why these two objects are more than simple accessories.

If you are buying a gown, ask the parents for the size. As for the candle, we wouldn't put it at the back of a cupboard: it can be lit again on the anniversary of the baptism, and that means a great deal to a child.

A godparent's gift doesn't set out to be the most expensive thing of the day, but the one that, ten years on, everyone will still know came from them.

A cross, a medal or a children's Bible: which should you choose?

A cross or a medal is a good choice if the family will actually display it or wear it – it is worth talking about this in advance. Before engraving, ask for the exact spelling of the name and the date of the baptism. A children's Bible stands on the shelf for years, and then one day it is taken down; at that point, the few lines written inside it are worth more than the book itself.

What else can a godparent give the parents?

The lasting gift belongs to the child. Alongside it, many people add something that belongs to the day and the family: something that comes alive right there, on the lunch table. The GALAMBOM box is just that: a handmade gingerbread – made with, among other things, white rye flour, local farmers' blossom honey and cane sugar – from the Milimári Sütiműhely bakery in Budakeszi. Pull out the satin ribbon hidden in the box and a single thought from a Christian saint is revealed; we have twenty-four different messages, in Hungarian and English. The message on the ribbon is in English. A box costs €4.20, or €4.00 each from ten boxes. For larger quantities, by individual agreement, the accompanying card can carry your own text – for example the child's name and the date of the christening.

We have gathered our christening gifts on a separate page, and we have also written about who gives what at a christening. The loveliest godparent gifts we know of, though, rarely cost much: someone sat down and wrote a letter to their godchild, to be given to them when they turn eighteen.

Frequently asked questions

From what age can someone be a godparent?

Under canon 874 of the Code of Canon Law, from the completion of their sixteenth year. The diocesan bishop may set a different age, and the parish priest may make an exception for a just cause. It is best to ask at the parish in question about the exact practice.

Can someone who has not been confirmed be a godparent?

Under Catholic canon law, no: a godparent must be a confirmed Catholic who has already received the Most Holy Eucharist and leads a life of faith in keeping with the role. If the person you have asked to be godparent has not yet been confirmed, it is worth talking to the parish priest.

Can someone who is not Catholic be a godparent?

A baptised person who belongs to another Christian community may take part in the ceremony only alongside a Catholic godparent, as a witness to the baptism. This is what canon 874 §2 says.

How many godparents can a child have?

Under canon 873, one godfather, one godmother, or one of each. According to the Magyar Katolikus Lexikon (Hungarian Catholic Lexicon), under current law no more than two godparents may be entered in the register.

Who buys the christening gown and the candle?

In Hungarian folk tradition, across most of the country the christening clothes were brought as a gift by the godmother, and in some regions a blessed candle was given too. Today families divide this up among themselves; it is worth agreeing it with the parents in advance.

What does the christening candle symbolise?

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the candle lit from the Easter candle signifies that Christ has enlightened the newly baptised. The white garment signifies that the baptised person has ‘put on Christ’.