What to give for a name day? An almost forgotten Hungarian custom

One November morning, someone finds a little bunch of flowers on her desk. There is no card beside it, only a slip of paper with two words and a name. It isn't her birthday, nor any kind of anniversary. It is 25 November, St Catherine's day (Katalin napja) – and someone remembered.

We feel this kind of attentiveness is quietly fading, and yet few of our customs are so old or so endearing. Knowing its story makes it easier to do it well.

Where does the name day come from?

The name day grew out of the Christian calendar of saints. The Catholic Church has traditionally given the newly baptised the name of a saint at baptism, to be their example and patron. Whoever has a patron saint also has a feast: the saint's day in the calendar. The person who bore that name celebrated this day – and so the name day was born.

In the past, name and calendar belonged together even more closely. According to the Hungarian Ethnographic Lexicon (Magyar Néprajzi Lexikon), it was a widespread custom, especially among Catholics, for a child to be given a calendar name falling close to their birthday, and in many places the priest performing the baptism simply chose the saint of the day of birth or of the baptism.

How long have name days been kept in Hungary?

Since at least the 16th century – and we know this surprisingly precisely. On 19 December 1542, Kanizsai Orsolya wrote a letter to her husband, Nádasdy Tamás: two days before St Thomas's day she sent him the “St Thomas pastry” (szent Tamás béles), with pretzels alongside, and she ordered game for the feast as well. The ethnographer Bogdán István regards this as the first known Hungarian name-day greeting.

The custom did not stay within noble households. In the villages, the name day of the farmer or his wife stirred the whole neighbourhood: relatives, godparents and neighbours came, and children came to offer their greetings too. The ethnographic account sums up the essence in a single sentence: “There is no invitation, for name-day visiting is a mark of honour.” Protestants, although they did not venerate the saints, kept the name day just the same.

What do people usually give for a name day?

By tradition, little, and gladly. Village children who came with greetings were given fruit, cakes, sweets or a little money, and the adults were offered food and drink. Today we mostly give flowers – for women this is natural almost everywhere – perhaps with a bar of chocolate, a bottle of wine or a good tea.

The most important part, however, is not the object but the words. “Isten éltessen” – “God grant you long life” – is an old greeting, and it is just as good today as it was a hundred years ago. A phone call, a handwritten note, a coffee we bring someone in the morning: each is a name-day gift if it is meant for their name.

A name day doesn't ask for much. Only that someone comes to mind – on a day chosen not by us, but by the calendar.

How big should a name-day gift be?

Small. This isn't stinginess; it is the nature of the day. A name-day gift is right when the other person need not return it and isn't embarrassed by it. On this day, too large a gift is more of a burden to the recipient than a joy – especially at work, where a name day is often easier to mark than a birthday: everyone knows the name, hardly anyone the date of birth.

When we designed the GALAMBOM box, this was the scale we had in mind. It holds a handmade gingerbread, baked at the Milimári Sütiműhely bakery in Budakeszi, made with, among other things, white rye flour, local farmers' blossom honey and cane sugar. A satin ribbon is hidden in the box: pull it out, and a single thought from a Christian saint is revealed. We have twenty-four different messages. It suits a name day all the more because it comes from the world of the saints – the very place the name day itself comes from.

A box costs €4.20, or €4.00 each when you order ten or more, and we ship from early November. If your team regularly celebrates one another, we have a separate page on corporate gifts.

What if we have forgotten someone's name day?

Wish them well afterwards. A name day has no etiquette as strict as a birthday's, and a late greeting is still a greeting. “I thought of you yesterday – the day just ran away with me” is more sincere than a mechanical message scheduled in advance.

If you are unsure which day the other person keeps, feel free to ask. Many names have more than one name day – Katalin (Catherine), for example, has both 30 April and 25 November – and people usually celebrate the day their family has always kept.

Why is it still worth keeping name days today?

Because it is the only celebration of ours that we neither choose nor organise. The calendar brings it, quietly, at the same time every year. It needs no venue, no guest list, no gift list – only that we glance at the date in the morning and someone comes to mind.

We believe there can never be too much of this. If you are looking for ideas for other small occasions, we have gathered the occasions here.

Frequently asked questions

How long have name days been celebrated in Hungary?

Since at least the 16th century. The earliest known Hungarian name-day greeting dates from 1542: two days before St Thomas's day, Kanizsai Orsolya sent her husband, Nádasdy Tamás, a festive pastry (béles) and pretzels, and ordered game for the feast as well. The custom was alive everywhere, from noble households to the villages, and Protestants kept it too.

What is the difference between a name day and a birthday?

Your birthday is the day you were born; your name day is the feast of the saint whose name you bear. Anyone who glances at the calendar knows the date of a name day, which is why, at work and among acquaintances, it is often easier to mark than a birthday.

What is a suitable name-day gift for a colleague?

Something small that does not call for anything in return: a single flower, a bar of chocolate, a handmade sweet or a coffee together. A name-day gift is deliberately modest – it is the thought that counts, not the price.

What if a name has more than one name day?

Many names appear in the calendar more than once – Katalin (Catherine), for example, on both 30 April and 25 November. People usually celebrate the day their family has always kept. If you don't know which one the other person observes, simply ask.

Is it too late to wish someone a happy name day the day after?

No. A name day has no strict etiquette, and a late greeting is still a greeting. One honest sentence saying the day simply ran away with you is worth more than a mechanical, pre-scheduled message.

Which other countries celebrate name days?

The custom is known across much of Central and Eastern Europe, in Scandinavia and in the Balkans – for example in Poland, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Greece, Sweden and Finland. In English-speaking countries, however, it is practically unknown.